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Diary of the Bougie Broad

Life through the eyes of a young, quirky, intelligent, bougie broad.

Bougie.  Snobby.  Bratty.  Spoiled.  Uppity.  Pretentious.  Stuck up.  Snotty.  Self-centered.  Vain.  Conceited.  Sadiddy.  Bitchy.  Selfish.  Yes I have heard them all.  Do these words truly describe me? Not so much.  But either way, these words and many others, have shaped my thinking, how I see the world, and how I live my life.  My blog entries are not meant to be deep, educational, or life changing.  Rather just thought provoking.  I want to foster conversation (good or bad).  Thank you for gracing me with your presence (or should you be thanking me...hmmmm... just kidding!)
 

The N-Word (and other derogatory terms)

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This entry was posted on Thursday, April 12, 2007 3:11 PM and is filed under Music,Current Events.

 

***Note I didn’t blank much out except for the N-Word***

The N-Word controversy is stirring up again, partly due to Don Imus’ racial comments.  So I thought I would offer my thoughts regarding this debate.

I think that everyone should refrain from using the N-Word.  But I have to admit that I have a problem with non African-Americans making the argument that African-Americans shouldn’t use the term.  Society has been using the N-Word for years as a derogatory, racist term to describe African-Americans, and now these same people want to tell us not to use it.  Yeah, I can’t lie, I do have a problem with that.

I do think my generation uses the word as a term of endearment and I can see how some don’t see a problem with it’s use by African-Americans towards other African-Americans.  But sadly I see our people calling each other the N-Word in a negative way as well.  Either way, I am offended by the term and just brings up images of our ancestors being hung from trees while be called a “n*gger”.  I really think there are far better ways for us to greet one another or to show our affection towards one another.  But I think we should cease the use of the word amongst ourselves and not by the suggestion or instruction of those who brought negativity to the word in the first place.

When others hear African-Americans use the term, they tend think it is okay to use and this is when problems arise.  Take Don Imus’ use of the phrase “nappy headed hos”.  We are calling our women hos, bitches, tricks, etc on a regular basis.  Take the following lyrics:

Throw Some D’s by Rich Boy
Rich Boy Sellin' Crack Fuck N*ggas Wanna Jack Shit Tight No Slack
Just Bought A Cadillac(Throw Some D's On Da Bitch!!)

Rock Yo Hips by Crime Mob feat. Lil Scrappy
Now I Got 32 Flavors Of That Bootylicious Bubblegum
Raspberry,Grape,Cherry, Come And Get This Honey Bun
Yummy Yum Baby Not Your Ordinary Lady
Known To Drive A Nigga Crazy Willie Wonka Wonna Pay Me

I Wanna Fuck You by Snoop Dogg feat. Akon
[Chorus (Akon):]
I see you winding and grinding up on that pole,
I know you see me lookin' at you and you already know
I wanna fuck you, you already know
I wanna fuck you, you already know

[Snoop Dogg:]
Money in the air as mo feel grab you by your coat tail take you to the motel, hoe sale,
don't tell, won't tell, baby said I don't talk Dogg but she told on me, oh well,
take a picture with me, what the flick gon' do, baby stick to me & ima stick on you,
if you pick me then ima pick on you, d-o-double g and I'm here to put this dick on you,
I'm stuck on pussy and yours is right, wrip riding them poles and them doors is tight
and ima get me a shot for the end of the night 'cause pussy is pussy and baby you're pussy for life.

On the Hotline by Pretty Ricky
It's 5 in the mornin'
And I'm up havin' phone sex with you, you (so horny, so horny)
And now I'm on the hotline
Over here lustin' for you, you (so horny, so horny)

Let's talk about sex baby, let's talk about you and me
Let's talk about bubbles in the tub, let's talk about makin' love
Let's talk about you on top, or me goin' down
Let's have a little phone sex baby, on the hotline

You get the picture…

Are we really surprised by someone else doing the same?  We are all guilty of condoning this and becoming numb to the words.  When we hear a hot song, we really don’t listen to the words or even scarier, the words no longer phase or shock us when coming from our own mouths.

We really need to portray ourselves in a more positive light—it starts at home.  We must respect ourselves first.  Most importantly it needs to be on our own terms.

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    • Friday, April 13, 2007 10:36 AM Tia wrote:
      Elisa,

      I actually could care less.

      I remember the first time I was called "nigger" by a white boy when I was in 3rd grade. I was unsure of what he meant because like all other "curse words" I heard the word being used at my Dad's side of the family like water. I also knew it was one of those words that I could say only around them - not in school and definitely not with my Mom's side. But the difference was I knew he was using it to insult me because of the tone of his voice, so I whooped his ass (you know I've always been feisty) and we both got in trouble. After the parent teacher conferences, my Dad and I spoke about the meaning of the word, and he then emphasized how we should never give power to words, especially those said by someone trying to hurt you. A word is a word and it takes a person to actually bring the meaning to life. Why should we give someone who obviously wants to hurt us that much power?

      Now that I'm older, I completely understand what he's saying. A word cannot define me. The last time I was called a "bitch" I told the person "That may have caused me to get mad in middle school, but I'm grown now. I am that bitch and a whole lot more." It shut them up quickly.

      As far as Imus goes, I definitely thought that he was wrong. He should have concentrated on the skills of the basketball players, not whether they have a kink in their hair. If I was them I probably would have said "Yes, without the help of the Dominicans, I have nappy hair. And? Who cares? I can still take your ass to the hole any given day." And who cares if Imus "knows them." Quite frankly, he doesn't deserve their presence. People who feel the need to bring others down by insulting them are not worth it and beneath the person they are trying to insult. Period.

      We, as a society, need to respect each other. Treat others as you wish to be treated is cliche, but true. Hold open a door, give up that seat on the train, be polite to others, buy a cupcake for the person who helps you out in the office, send thank you notes, treat your cab driver not like your servant, make convo w/ the Starbucks barista... the smallest things can brighten someone's day. If we live life in a positive way to the best of our ability, we will improve the overall quality - and then things like the "N-Word" will have so much less clout. Don't you think?

      Love, The ramble queen...
      Reply to this
      1. Friday, April 13, 2007 11:23 AM The Bougie Broad wrote:

        Dear Tia,

        Thank you for the comment!  I will try to respond to the best of my ability.

        I do agree that a word is a word, but we can say that all day long to make ourselves feel better about using such a word.  Reality is that the N-Word is a word that carries extreme hatred and negativity; there is no way around it.  I think we (black people) are guilty of this way of thinking in order to make what we say “okay”—it is not.  When you leave things up to interpretation that is when problems occur.  When someone spews the word from their mouth, the average person will not think, “Well, let me take the tone, delivery, situation, etc into context…”  They are going to take the familiar meaning and apply it.  End of story.  For instance, my friends and I are all guilty of calling each other “bitch”.  In our minds it is a term of endearment, but we don’t think about how it sounds to others or the example we are setting.  We are all guilty, but that’s not an excuse.

        We still live in a racist society in which people do not view everyone as their equals.  We can not get away with calling each other by a term that has such a strong historical past… it won’t work.  I believe, like you, that respect is a must and when there is a day that we completely respect one another, the N-Word won’t carry as much clout.  But until then, something must be done.

        You are right; a word can not define you, me and many others because we won’t allow it to effect us like that.  But those around us won’t think that way; not everyone thinks on that kind of level.

        I do see where you are coming from; I just don’t think we are there quite yet!

        Come again!

        .:The Bougie Broad:.


        Reply to this
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